It's been a while since I posted anything here but then it's been a hectic couple of months. Family occasions including 2 weddings and then Balamaan's illness and death. I'm yet to get over that and so I thought I would write about him today.
Dr I Balakrishnan, Balamaan to our generation, was my mother's younger cousin, the third son of my great-aunt, Lakshmi Kutty Warasiar (My grandmother's younger sister). He was two years younger to my mother. He had two elder brothers, Shankaran and Raghavan Kutty (Kunjumaan). Shankaramaan died young, tragically developing some form of insanity during his early twenties. Around the same time his father also started showing symptoms of the same illness, at which point the family shifted back to our family house. He had been a sanskrit teacher at the kovilakam school in Kochi and the two elder sons were brought up there. Balamaan was followed by Kuttimuttashi's only daughter, Thankamani (my Cheriamma), but the financial difficulties of bringing up so many children in a city on a school-master's salary must have been great. So Balamaan was sent back home to Killimangalam to be brought up by his grandmother and aunts. His grandmother was affectionate and caring and he was happy there. My mother was his companion and friend.
The traditions of the old joint family systems meant that in our families uncles and elder brothers were distant god-like beings, to be avoided as far as possible. They usually had the best interests of the younger children at heart but their attentions usually manifested themselves in the form of thunderbolts. However younger brothers were accessible and my mother lavished her affections on her cousins, Balamaan and later on Unnimaan (Rudran, the youngest of Kuttymuttashi's children) and my dear Cheriamma. They played and fought together and growing up, she took care of them, washing their clothes and cleaning up after them. They reciprocated in equal measure and their attachment has survived to this day.
Balamaan grew up, studied Chemistry, joined National Chemical Laboratories (NCL) and became a chemist. When my father first joined HAL we lived for 3 years from 1969 to 1972 in Nasik, close to Poona where he was stationed. During those years he visited us regularly on weekends, playing with me and Mini, and we developed a strong affection for him which lasted even though we had very little contact for long periods. Mother and Balamaan corresponded regularly and the connection was always kept alive. In the 1990's he quit his job with NCL and shifted to a private firm in Trivandrum, settling down here more or less permanently. When I moved to Trivandrum, I again renewed our relationship, meeting him once in a while. In April 2014 he began falling ill and then I started to visit more often so that during the last 6 months we were closer than ever before. He died on 25th of January. My sense of bereavement is strong because with him went another part of my life "as it used to be". He was part of a family circle that seemed permanent and comforting and as each one of that circle fades out, he or she leaves behind a gap that can never be filled by any one else.
A sad little post but I felt that I needed to write about the sad things that happen too. My next post will, I think be more cheerful since I mean to continue telling my grandmother's story, and she was always pretty cheerful. Till next time then.
